Date #2 with Dr. Not-so-Dreamy

Today is my second prenatal appointment. My regular obstetrician is pregnant with twins and has been on bed rest since about her 12th week of pregnancy. No - I am not exaggerating. She isn't due until February and has been on bed rest since about August. Anyway, what that means for me is that I am being seen by another doctor. A young, male doctor. I don't have a big problem with it, but I really like MY female doctor. And why is that doctors think that they know your body better than you do? I realize they did go to school to study the human body, but that doesn't mean that I don't know anything. I told them that I have a long menstrual cycle and that I (and about 95% of other women out there) do not have a 28 day cycle, and that I happened to ovulate on about day 26, which means that they could not possibly calculate my due date based on a 28 day cycle. We were trying to get pregnant, and obviously I knew that I was ovulating because here I am - pregnant... So here I am going to the doctor to hear the heartbeat and I am only what I believe to be 10 weeks pregnant. The silver lining to this is that I will probably get to have an ultrasound done today because I can almost guarantee that they will not hear a heartbeat with the doppler thingie. I hope that everything is okay.

On to other things - my daughter has officially learned to walk. She is walking all over and falling down and standing up again. She has started climbing on anything that she can get her knee up on. She has also started glaring at me when she is angry or confused. I had to punish her yesterday for the first time. I don't generally believe in punishment until the child is old enough to understand what they did wrong and to understand my explanation. So anway, don't think that I am a horrible mom - I am not sure whether I believe in spanking because it is hard to teach a child not to hit when that is what you are doing to them. Although I believe if that is the only thing that your child responds to, then that is what you need to do. And when I am talking about spanking, I am talking about controlled spanking - a couple of swats on the behind with an explanation of the wrong. Anyway - I did not spank her. I merely laid down a chair in front of the kitchen entrance so that she could not get in because she kept pulling up the heating vent and trying to throw her plastic letters down the shaft. She screamed and cried like I was the worst mom in the world. I was almost crying - until I looked at her and started laughing. I know I shouldn't laugh, but when you think about her throwing a fit over a upturned chair, it is kind of funny. And I needed to laugh. I need to laugh more.

Lovely...

So being pregnant has been great so far... HA! I have morning sickness worse than last time - although to be fair, I didn't really have morning sickness the first time. I thought that I might have been nauseous a couple of times, but they were doing construction on a garage right next to my building at work, so I was never quite sure if my queesy-ness was due to my pregnancy, or the constant vibration of my office. And the morning sickness does not generally occur until I need to get supper ready. Yep, around 4:30, 5:00 I am looking in the fridge/freezer trying to find the stuff for dinner and NOTHING looks appetizing. I can't touch raw meat and stuff like turkey or ham for sandwiches sends me to the bathroom. Blech! Even typing it makes me sick! Then something will strike my fancy and I will take one bite and HATE it!

And TIRED! I have been more tired with this pregnancy than my first. I am struggling with this because I feel soooo lazy. I take an afternoon nap every day, then I wake up groggy and almost worse than when I started.

But contrary to what you have read, I realize that I don't have it that badly. I am still able to get out of bed and function. And where as my functionality has gone down considerably in the last couple of weeks, I can still do what I need to do.

See, groggy. My post is all over the place, and I am not really caring.

Pink Lines

So I found out a couple of weeks ago that I am pregnant again. I say "again" like this is more than just my second pregnancy. I don't know why I have such mixed feelings about this. I mean, we were kind of trying to get pregnant, but seriously, this was the first month we were trying! We thought it would take awhile and in the mean time, I was going to be done nursing and able to enjoy having my body to myself again, but no. That was not to be. I found out I was pregnant the week my daughter turned 1. The week that I was going to stop nursing, maybe... The week that I was going to get serious about losing my baby weight. The week that I had always assumed would be the time that I would stop feeling so tired and the week in which I thought I would have everything figured out. Also, incidently the week that I started going back to school to get an education degree. Oh yes, that week also includes our wedding anniversary and my hubby's birthday. Big week! But what was I doing at the beginning of that week? Waiting for 2 pink lines.

I am going to have a 20 month old and a newborn. I am going to have 2 babies in diapers. What am I thinking? How can I possibly do night feedings and then wake up after intermittant sleep to run after a toddler? Am I going to truly enjoy Button's toddler years, or will I be too tired and nauseous to appreciate all of the new things she is learning?

What am I thinking? I am truly blessed to have 2 healthy children. Both of my children will be lucky to have siblings so close in age that they will be able to play with each other and protect each other. They will always have a "built-in" friend on which they will always be able to rely. They will be in school together - probably only a year apart. Part of me wants to have another girl so that Button can have a sister, which is something that I always wanted and never had. Part of me wants a boy that will protect Button from everyone - especially other boys.

Isn't it funny how much your life can change in the span of 3 minutes and by the sight of just two small pink lines?

Suzie Homemaker in love...

Today I am feeling like Suzie Homemaker. I am in the mood to clean the house and I have fallen in love again....With my crock pot and a new website. The website is the Ladies Home Journal website which has tons and tons of crock pot recipes. I love crock pots because you can dump all your ingredients in it and forget about it all day. I also love that I don't have to do much work at the end of the day when I am tired and crabby - the hard part is already done while Button is napping! Plus, if Hubby is late coming home from work, it doesn't really matter - the food will still be hot and yummy.

I don't know what brought about this change. It might be the weather. I was at my parent's house yesterday and it snowed over 2 inches. It was one of those perfect snows that covers every branch and just glistens. It makes me think of the Holidays (which could also be stressful when thinking about presents and everything, but I am being positive today) and sitting by a large, roaring fireplace reading a good book and drinking hot cocoa while a big pot of soup boils on the stove (or in the crockpot!). And I would be snuggled in a large blaknet with my wonderful fuzzy slippers on my feet.

Anyway, I guess the Suzie Homemaker thing comes about because I wouldn't be able to relax sitting in front of my fireplace if there were toys all over and crumbs on the table and dishes in the sink and beds unmade and clothes on the floor and diapers laying on the changing table. That is not part of the fantasy. Although since I am fantasizing, I might as well just put in the fact that I am realxing in front of the fireplace because Hubby and Button will have actually noticed that there IS crap everywhere and that SOMEONE will have to put it away and then take the initiative to do it themselves. Ohhh, that is a great fantasy....

Traumatic experience

We had Button's 1 year pictures taken yesterday. We normally have them taken at JCPenney's, but we decided to do them at a different photographer because we had heard very good things about this other place. Anyway, I have to say that I wasn't super impressed with the new place. Our appointment was at 4:00 on Friday. We finally got in to take our pictures at 4:45. The people in front of us were having their 1 year pictures taken as well - with twins. I don't know about you guys, but I would imagine that twins would take twice as long, correct? Well, I don't know what time they got in there, but I KNOW that they were there when I showed up for my appointment at about 3:50. Which would mean they were in there for an hour or longer. So my question to the people at the photography studio is: Why would you schedule twin 1 year pictures in the time it takes to take a single baby picture? Also, in the hour that we were waiting for our pictures, Button, who is getting 2 new teeth, managed to drool all over her outfit. No, there were no dryers in the bathrooms of course. At least her clothes had a chance to dry.

I was also not extremely happy with our actual photographer. After seeing the other woman working with the twins, I thought that we might actually get some good pictures out of the deal, but no. This lady looked like she had already had a long day and could not WAIT to go home. For being a children's photographer, she wasn't very good with children. THEN, Button kept making this funny face because she was trying to grind her bottom tooth against the top tooth that is trying to come in. Oh, and seeing that the twins before us were in there for over an hour, I figured that we would at least get a half an hour. No - about 20 minutes later we were done and that included all her individual pictures, family pictures and a wardrobe change. Oh, yes, there was a room change in there too, because the people in the other room wanted a background that was only available in the room that we were in, of course.

I do need to mention 2 things. 1) I do realize that we went at 4:00 on Friday which is probably not the slowest time for them. 2) I am totally PMS-ing, so I am hoping these negative, crappy feelings aren't long lived.

Major pet peeve

I have a few (okay, many) pet peeves, but one of my absolute worst pet peeves is when someone says "Warshington" or "Warsh". I can't even type that without shuddering. Bleeccchhh... THERE IS NO "R" IN WASH! I do not warsh my clothes, I wash them. There are not politicians in Warshington, there are politicians in Washington.

Seriously, you would think that a politician running for office would at least have someone on their commercials who said Washington, not Warshington. If I was on the fence at all about who I was voting for, it would not be the canididate who allowed Warshington to be said in their commercials. But then this is also the candidate who says "I am not a politician, I am a busniessman looking to represent this state's interests in Washington." Really. You are not a politician, yet you are running for a political office? How are you going to hold your own against people who have politics in their blood? I think I understand his point, but I want our state to be represented by a politician who understands the ropes.

Okay, that was probably actually two pet peeves - see I said I have many, but at least I got them out of my system.

P.S. I am by no means a political fanatic - this election campaign crap is really getting to me though. So much negativity and mud slinging.

I treat him like a king...

I have been trying to be a better wife. I am not a mean tyrant or anything, but I figure if I am going to be spending the next 10-15 years of my life being only a wife and mother, I had better make an effort to do a good job, right?

ANYway. In an effort to be a better, more loving wife, I have been making my hubby breakfast. It really isnt' a big deal, just some toast, cottage cheese, fruit (in a cup), V-8 juice and a vitamin. All of it can be done in less than 5 minutes. I do really well on Mondays and Tuesdays. On Monday and Tuesday, I use the cute little plates with matching little bowls with the cottage cheese and fruit put lovingly into the bowl. The english muffin is lightly toasted, just the way he likes it with just the right amount of butter and jelly, spread all the way to the edges.

By Wednesday morning, I am still using the plates (if I remembered to start the dishwasher last night and they are clean), but the breakfast is not quite so lovingly put on the plates. More like it is flopped onto a plate or into a bowl after toasting the toast to however the toaster is set at the time. The jam or jelly is slathered on the toast. It goes down hill from there.

By Friday, Hubby is lucky to even GET a plate, mainly because they are all dirty because I almost certainly forgot to start the dishwasher last night. The English muffins are flopped onto a paper towel, probably burned to a crisp because I forgot them in the toaster and then had to “re-heat” them again, then again until they resemble a hockey puck. I can’t just start over with the English muffins because it is most likely the very last English muffin, or anything toastable, in the house. The cottage cheese and fruit are served directly from the container with a plastic spoon because incidentally, the spoons are not clean either.

But I am trying and Hubby never says a word about the burnt toast. I guess that you could say that on Fridays I treat him like a king. I bring him burnt offerings.

What am I?

SURPRISE!! I am not a writer. I am not. I majored in Business in college. I worked in accounting for 6 years after college and got my CPA. I do not write. I am also not good at math. Well, I mean I am okay at math, but I didn’t have to take a bunch of actual math classes in college and I am not familiar with any of those complicated math formulas or anything. I can not do complicated math problems in my head – that is why they invented adding machines and Excel. The one thing that I am good at is Excel. 1+1? Let me see….(click, click, click…consulting adding machine window) Yep, still 2. Although I have heard the joke about a good accountant: “What is 1+1?” Good Accountant: “What do you want it to be?” I have heard that joke many, many times. And the sad thing is that I understand what it means. As an accountant, you can massage the numbers to make them show almost anything. So in that respect I might be an artist, but I am not a writer.

I am also not a tax expert. Please do not ask me to do you taxes or ask my advice on your taxes. There are reasons why there are tax specialists and that is because tax is constantly changing and there are so many rules and exceptions to the rules and exceptions to the exceptions, that it is a career in itself to figure out what they all mean and how to save the most money and not totally screw up all those stupid forms.

So what am I? After much soul searching, I can finally tell you that I am a Christian, wife, mother, maid, social director, bill payer, dog walker, child care provider, head landscaper, maintenance technician, fitness wannabe guru, buyer, chauffeur and friend. That is what I am.

Randomness

I actually walked on my treadmill yesterday. My post about not having the energy to walk actually spurred me on to do the thing that I didn't want to do. So thank God for therapuetic writing. (Where is spell check on this thing?) AND, I am going to walk again today. So there.

So I think that Button is coming down with a cold. She is sniffly and stuffy and has a cough. This morning I thought that the sniffles were just teething, but it is hard to hear that reasoning over the hoarse cough that she has developed. (Where is the dang spell check on this thing? Hoarse??? Whatever.)

I start tennis lessons tomorrow. I am starting in advanced beginners as my hubby has taught me a little about the game and I AM very good at WATCHING tennis, so I figure I should be at least an advanced beginner. We will see - I will probably be getting my butt embarassed tomorrow.

Enough randomness, I am done for today. Happy Tuesday!

Just DO it already...

Why is it so easy to find excuses to work out? Seriously, I do love the feeling that I get after a good sweat, but why is it so hard to start? I do NOT like the post baby body that I now have, so why is it so hard to work out. I only want to get up the motivation to walk on my treadmill for 30 minutes. 30 measley minutes... Instead I am sitting here at my computer typing, typing, typing. I am not cleaning my bathrooms. I am not putting on my workout clothes. I am typing. Oh, and where does the time go while I am on my computer? Is there a time thief that makes my computer clock jump ahead by an hour? Some kind of trojan horse that sneaks in from Blogger and steals my time? Why does time on the computer fly by and 30 measley minutes on my treadmill feels like eternity? And by 30 minutes on my treadmill, I am not talking about running for 30 minutes, I only want to go on the dang thing and WALK for 30 minutes and then spend 5 minutes doing crunches or something to get rid of the jelly belly, but NO. Why, Why, Why?

Okay, I am going to put on my shoes and walk - even though those shoes have dog crap on them from my last working out a week ago. Yes, as a reward for my walking I got dog crap on my shoe. Did I ever mention that a pet peeve of mine is people who don't pick up their dog's crap? I have a dog and I do not enjoy the smell of fresh, warm dog crap as I bend over to pick it up* while trying to keep the baby stroller from rolling away, yet I DO IT! Yes, I do it and if you have a dog, you should do it too. That is my public service announcement. Just DO it!

Speaking of Just DOing it, I have a treadmill to attack. Wish me luck!

*I use a plastic bag, so don't get grossed out.

Hugs & Halloween

So it is Friday. Button is now 11 and a half months old. She has started hugging everything. She LOVES hugging her Care Bear and her blankie and yesterday she hugged a golf ball and one of her blocks - she loves hugging so much that sometimes she will put her arms around herself and hug herself! The cutest thing is that she will make a little grunting noise when she hugs because that is what I do with her. How cute is that? Why yes, I know - I have the cutest, smartest baby in the world! Okay, other mothers may disagree with me, but I believe that I do.

I love putting her little hair into piggy tails - they aren't so much piggy tails as bug antennae because they stick straight out of the top of her head. No curls for Button - she had no hope of curls between Hubby and me - we both have stick-straight hair. Anyway, for some reason I am completely obsessed with Halloween this year. I have been telling everyone about Button's costume for over a month now. She is going to be a little ladybug with her piggy tails as antennae. I have been looking at every store in town and talking to other people about how they would make wings and debating about buying a costume as opposed to making a costume as opposed to buying regular clothes and making them work for a costume. Then debating about whether I can actually MAKE ladybug wings that look like ladybug wings, or whether they will just look like a wire hanger that got into a fight with some black pantyhose. I don't know how cost effective it would be for me to make my wings because by the time I buy 12 pairs of black pantyhose after running every single one of them, and then ripping them to shreds trying to get them over the hanger, and then later in anger, I will have spent about $50. Judging from my prior attempts at Halloween costumes for myself (flying snake anyone?), I should probably spend the $25 and just buy a ready made costume so that people won't ask me what she is supposed to be - Oh, where are her antennae? Ooooh, those ARE her wings... They're very...... (searching for the right word)... interesting...

The thing is that I don't even know why I am worrying about Halloween this year. I mean Button doesn't know the difference and we aren't even going to go Trick-or-Treating, so what is the point of even making her a costume? I had originally thought that I would have her dressed up so that when people come to the door for candy, they would get to see her and comment on her cuteness. Then I realized that the people coming to my door want me to say how cute THEIR kids are and don't really care about MY kid. Oh well, we will have lots of pictures to show the grandparents, who are probably the only ones who care anyway.

I went running yesterday. Pick up your jaws now, I'll wait...

Okay, yes. I went running - or more like jogging, but whatever - it was faster than a walk, thus it was running. I ran for a mile, then walked a mile, then ran until my knee started having stabbing pains (about 1/2 mile) then walked for another mile or two. This is the first time that I have run any significant distance since I found out I was pregnant with Button, so it is going on two years. I can't even talk about the sadness I felt when I realized that I was no longer 21 and my body started to remind me that I was no longer that young and resiliant. Ahhh, the soreness today! Oh, and for my effort, I thought that I deserved to step on the scale this morning to see that I had lost at least 5 pounds, but NO - not only had I not lost 5 pounds, it appears that I have gained 3 pounds for my effort. Could have been that I decided that I deserved a treat (or 2 or 3) yesterday for being so good and running. I guess it is going to take more than one running session to lose those last 15 pounds...

Anyway, I walked/ran around a lake with a trail winding down by the lake, past a prarie restoration area and through many canopies of trees. It was beautiful. All of the fall colors were just starting to make an appearance and the yellows and reds and oranges were amazing. When I stopped on the dam and looked across the water at the prarie restoration, it was breathtaking. There was almost no wind, the water was calm and I could look across the lake and see trees changing colors, a beautiful blue sky, red flowering bushes and birds of many varieties. I almost forgot that I was in the middle of a city until I walked a little further, looked to my right and lo and behold - a shopping mall. Alas, all good things must come to an end.

My Struggle with PPD

It has been 3 months since I last posted. How sad. I have to say that I really went through a tough time there for awhile. I started numerous posts, but they were all too depressing. One of them started, "Assuming I had any friends left". How sad... I felt like I had post-partum depression - I felt listless, sad, tired - soooo tired all the time. I was cranky and irritable with my friends. I didn't feel like doing anything - I couldn't get out of the house - the prospect of putting on regular clothing and getting the baby out of the house was too much to think about. It took everything I had every morning to get out of bed and feed my daughter. Then I would sit around all day and escape into fiction books, emerging only to change a diaper or feed the baby or keep Button from falling down the stairs. I did only the bare minimum.

I tried calling my obstetrician, but that was absolutely NO HELP! She was on vacation the week that I called and the nurse who finally responded to my call didn't think that there was any way that I had Post-Partum depression because my baby was 11 months old. And "You can't have PPD because your baby is too old. You are probably just going through a funk. Do you have a general doctor?" Me: "No". Her: "Well, you probably don't have it, but why don't you call our other office and make an appointment to see the doctor next week" Me: “Okay, whatever”. The whole time I am thinking that if I did have severe depression, her lack of interest in my feelings could have sent me over the edge. Seriously, it takes a lot for a woman to call for help, and then when you finally do, some uncaring nurse tells you (without even asking you anything or even knowing your name) that you don’t have it because your baby is too old. How did she know that I hadn’t been suffering for 10 months and just now realized that I needed help? After 2 phone calls, I was done. I wasn’t going to get any help, and honestly, she made me feel like crap every time I talked to her. Luckily, I also talked to my mother-in-law who told me that she had severe post-partum depression even to the point of contemplating suicide, and the thing that finally pulled her out was finding a bible study and getting out of the house.

I made the decision to try to keep myself busy during the week and see how I felt in a couple of months. I signed us up for Gymboree on Mondays, Bible Study on Tuesdays, Wednesdays my mother-in-law watches Button while I take tennis lessons and Fridays are playdate days. Thursdays we are trying to have a field trip of some kind – either a zoo or a park or a walk or something. I have also started working out most days of the week which has GREATLY improved my self-image. I have re-instituted my cleaning routine, so I have a sparkly house to go along with my sparkly personality. Okay, well not really, but my hubby says I am doing better than I ever have since the baby was born. He says that "Old Kari" is back. I am not sure if "Old Kari" is before baby or before marriage, but whoever she is, she is back. Or at least partially back because you can never go back to being who you were before you had children - too much changes. Anyway, it is amazing what a little bit of social interaction and a “living clean”* house did for me. I am only in week 2 of the whole thing, but I feel great!

* “Living clean” means that the house is as clean as it can be while there are actually people living in it. I do not believe that it is realistic for me to have a spotless house while I have an infant, soon to be toddler, at home. It is also allows me to “live” a little at home and not spend every free minute cleaning, or spend minutes cleaning while I should be interacting with my child.

Poor Max

We have a dog named Max. I don't think I have written about him yet. Poor dog. He is a black miniature schnauzer - and no, I didn't change his name. Well, in all actuality, his name is Maximillion VonPuppimeyer. My hubby has a thing about German names - don't ask - that's a whole dang blog in itself (eye roll).

I say Poor Max because Button has decided that her favorite thing to do is to crawl after Max and steal whatever dog toy he has decided to drag out of his room. He kind of watches her warily and when she gets close, he will pick up his toy and move to a different part of the room. After a couple times of moving and chasing, he finally gives up. He just watches her crawl over and then sits there looking at me with puppy dog eyes while she grabs his toy and attempts to put it into her mouth before I screech and run over to extricate the toy from her grasp. I know, EEEEEWWWW. To complicate matters, just this morning Max actually brought one of his toys over to her so that they could "share" it. Cute of Max to be so good with the baby, but GROSS! Being the smart Mama that I am, I finally put all of the dog's toys away so that neither one of my "children" can get to them. See - I am the goodest learner in the whole world...

I'm Back! Finally!

Anyway, Sorry for the LONG, LONG delay and if you are still reading my blog - THANK YOU!! I just looked at my last post and noticed that it has been over a month since I last posted - Geez, time flies... Things have been crazy around here.

After our vacation to Colorado at the end of May (it was fun, but fairly un-eventful), Hubby was gone for his job for about 5 weeks straight. I went up and visited my parents for a week and then I was busy trying to get in a routine with Button and trying to get myself in a workout routine. Now everything is changing again because Hubby started his new job today. That and I have a friend moving to Omaha this week (yeah!) and we are trying to figure out how we can start working out together, hoping that we will be able to motivate each other.

My newest (and oldest) project is trying to organize our basement. Yes, we were working on that last month, but unfortunately I am now organizing all of our paperwork and trying to figure out a system that works for us. I say that this is my newest and oldest project because I have just started working on it, but it is our oldest project because it is the one that has been hanging out there for the longest - mainly because I have dreaded working on it. Why do I dread working on it? Well, just read the e-mail that I had to send Hubby and you will understand:

Hubby -

If you want me to pay bills on time, you need to put them in a place where I
will actually find them. Putting them under a pile of magazines on your shelves
in the basement store room is not a good place to put them. Now all you will
have to do is put them in a labeled file box conveniently located to the left of
the computer. This will be labeled "Incoming Mail" to avoid confusion. This
file box will contain all things that come in the mail and I will go through
them on a bi-weekly basis, moving them to their appropriate places. Please DO
NOT attempt to move them to their appropriate location - that is MY job. Note
that the location of this box is NOT in the basement storeroom between the pages
of your magazines. :)

Your (trying to be organized) loving wife,
Kari

Sounds like Button is up from her nap so that is all the time I have for today. One quick note though - Button turned 8 months on Friday and started crawling and clapping her hands on Saturday! Fun! I have learned that I need to vacuum the floor more often now because she has discovered her opposable (sp?) thumb and enjoys eating the grass and other general debris that graces my floor. Funny, she will eat that, but makes a face at the banana puffs that I try to give her at meal-time. Oh well...

Vacation

Sorry for the delay in getting this post out. We are leaving for vacation on Thursday and Hubby decided that the basement needed to be "de-crappified". Yes, that is his word. Basically it means that we took all the boxes out of our closet, put them on the floor and sorted through all of them. That means that I actually had to throw out those old clothes that I thought I might actually fit into at some point in my life. I have decided that not only is it unlikely that I will ever fit into those clothes, but why would I want to? Some of those clothes are 10 years old, and probably slightly out of style. Besides, it gives me a chance to go out and find some new cute clothes. This is what our basement looked like during the "de-crappifying":




And after:



So, as you can see, we have been busy. We have a little left, but what an improvement!

I have also almost finished the nursery. I only have to make the slipcover for the rocker which shouldn't take too long. I absolutely LOVE how it looks. It is soooo cute and organized. Anyway, I will post pictures, but not until next week since we will be on vacation until then.

We are going to Colorado on vacation Thursday thru Monday. We will be driving 10 hours with a 7 month old. We are trying to figure out the best way to go about this drive without completely losing our minds. Do we leave really early in the morning and stop for breakfast around the time she would normally be getting up? Do we leave at a normal time and stop half way for lunch? I don't know. I will keep you updated on how things go. Tomorrow I need to find some more shorts and jeans and t-shirts to take along. I HATE shopping for things to go on the bottom of my body. Oh well, it should be interesting with a 7 month-old in tow as Hubby has lots to do what with starting a new job in 3 weeks. Oh, didn't I tell you - HE GOT THE JOB!!! So, until next week...

To my wonderful garage door:

I would like to thank you for all that you do for me. I don’t think that I truly appreciate how hard your job must be. You alone are responsible for keeping out those thieves looking to steal a nice (gas guzzling) vehicle. You also help to keep the wind, rain and hail off of our cars, saving the time and energy of filling out insurance forms.

I guess that given these grave responsibilities, it would be too much to ask that you also open and close whenever I push the little gray button on my garage door opener. Yes, the little gray button that I push repeatedly and with increasing vehemence and sometimes accompanied by some no so nice words.

Okay, I have to admit that you do an okay job opening when I push the button in the garage and when the nose of my vehicle is pressing on you – it must be that you can feel the “love”. I just don’t understand why you repeatedly refuse to close. Oh – I do realize that you will not close if something is in the way – like a vehicle trunk or a stroller - that makes complete sense. However, we do need to talk about the refusal to close when you are presented with a truly insurmountable obstacle – like a gust of wind, or perhaps a spider web. We are never really sure why you will not close. We run up to your sensors and rub the glass – thinking that you are seeing a speck of dust. We remove all the cobwebs within a 20 foot radius. We carefully make sure that all vehicle parts and random strollers are out of the way. We have lovingly set up a wind block on both sides of the garage door, but to no avail. I am hoping that by writing this letter, we are able to establish a truce. If you could just close after the 20th push of the button, we promise that we will not jab, jab, jab at the opener and we will speak lovingly to you at all times. Thank you for your time.

Your loving servant,

Kari

The 80's

A friend sent this to me over e-mail yesterday and I was going to include the whole questionnaire, but I ended up writing a long answer to one question.

17. What was your favorite toy as a child? Which begs the question - what ever happened to all those cool 80's toys - you know, Rainbow Bright, Slinky, Lite Brite... Anyway, I was about all things Barbie. Incidentally, my brother was all about He-man Masters of the Universe. Every once in awhile we would play together - I with my Barbies and he with his He-Men. I think my Barbie's first boyfriend was Skeletor! Of couse, Skeletor was usually trying to hit and kill Barbie, but whatever. Oh, and he was also into those stupid guns that shot plastic pellats. He used to shoot me with those things all the time, but I did get revenge - if he would make the mistake of shooting them into my room, I would pick them up and store them in my Barbie toilet. He never did know what happened to them. Eventually he ran out of bullets, then moved on to those stupid guns with the hard plastic disks - those hurt even worse than the pellats, so I am not sure if I actually got revenge or not. Oh well - fun times. Gotta love the 80's.

Speaking of the 80's (which we are because this is MY blog), weren't the 80's the best? I remember dressing up in my tight stirrup pants with the oversized, long-sleeved, button up the front, brightly colored (usually with black stars or hearts) cotton shirts, the scrunchie socks, the little flat shoes with no support and the side ponytail with the scrunchie. We also had those cool little twirley things that looked like small shoe laces that had been wound around a pencil. We would wear those on our shoes and around our pony tails. It was the height of fashion to wear those twirley things that matched our clothes. Seriously, I don't know why 80's style didn't stick around...

I remember going to the local high school football game and practice baton twirling. I don't know why, but we were really into Baton Twirling at my elementary school. We didn't go to the game to watch any football (unless my mom would come over and make me watch my uncle playing or something). Then we would go home in time to watch the Dukes - oh and the sleepovers - playing Frogger and the Burger game (I can't remember the name of it).

Ah yes, the good old days. I miss them sometimes... Thanks for taking a trip down memory lane with me today.

Dang

Could someone please tell me why my side bar is way at the bottom of the page? I have no idea how it happened, but I think Button was on my lap when I was trying to type my last post and she kept hitting the keyboard causing weird things to happen. If you know how to fix it, I would appreciate anyone's help.

My Dearest Hubby

A couple of things I would like you to know:

1) When I call you at work to ask you a simple question, it would be much easier to just answer the question than to talk about how you don't have time to answer the question. For example, and we are saying hypothetically here of course, let's say that I call you at work to just ask you if you are excited about being offered a new job. You say, "I'm really busy and I have to get this file done and blah, blah, blah" for about five minutes, when you could have said, "Yes, I am" and that would have been the end of the conversation. You have to remember that when you are out of town, I don't have a lot of other people to talk to and I definitely don't have someone who understands the situation as well as you. I also get lonely. Yes, lonley. Because I have a 7 month-old who, surprisingly, doesn't have a lot to say about the situation. This is also a big decison in our lives and I don't have anyone to talk to about it, so you need to give me a couple minutes of your day to reassure me that you are, in fact, as excited about this development as I am.

2) Wedges are a style of shoe, very trendy right now and they cost around $50 or less depending on where I get them and after reading the above, I think I am going to buy a couple of pairs.

For those of you not on the phone last night, here is a glimpse into our conversation:

Hubby: So have you decided what you are going to buy with your gift card yet? Are you going to buy shoes?

Me: Yeah, I saw these really cute shoes at Ann Taylor Loft. They are wedges with laces that tie up your leg. They are super cute summer shoes.

Hubby: *blank stare* Wedges? Like a sand wedge? A pitching wedge?

Me: *blink**blink* What?

Hubby: *thinking hard, then whining* Whaaaat? You said wedges.

Me: Yes, you said are you going to buy shoes, and I said Yes, Wedges. Wedges are a style of shoe. Plus, a golf club would look kind of weird tied around my leg.

Hubby: Well, sorry! When you say wedges, I automatically think golf.

Me: Actually, they are “Espadrille Wedges”

Hubby: Espa-What’s?

Me: I don’t know, that’s what they’re called.

Hubby: (giving up) How much do they cost?

3) I love you. I do.

Updated: I just got my mother's day flowers! I have to grovel now because Hubby remembered that Gerber Daisies are my favorite flowers in the whole world! Thank you!

Ah, How times have changed

I have Desitin on my cell phone.

There used to be a time when I had make-up on my cell phone. Make-up? What’s that? Make-up is for those times when someone will actually see my face. Not happenin’ here – you see, for someone to see my face, I would actually have to leave the house.

There used to be a time when I would actually get calls from people on my cell phone. Everyone in the office knew my number and would call when they had a problem with something and I was out at a client. Friends used to call me to go have drinks, or to go out for dinner, or to go play tennis or softball or go for a walk. Now all I use my cell phone for is to call the Hubby and to take pictures of the Button.

What has happened to the old Kari? Ah, yes. She became a mommy.

7 Months!

Button is 7 months old today!

Love you, Princess Poo Poo!

Mother's Day

Sunday was my first Mother's Day. I got a card, a flower, and free reign to go out and buy a couple of new outfits (ones that actually fit my post-pregnancy body).

I also got some perspective. We were sitting around with a bunch of our family and my father-in-law showed us some pictures that had been taken at the home place - the farm that has been in the family for generations. One of the pictures showed some well-worn little gravestones sitting out in a bunch of trees on the home place. Apparently my father-in-law's great-grandparents lost 8 of 9 children to diphtheria within a year and then buried them in the garden. His great-grandmother went crazy, but who could blame her?

All last week I sat around complaining because the Button wasn’t sleeping through the night. Wahhhh, Wahhhh, Wahhh… She’s not taking her naps. Wahhh, Wahhh, Wahhhh… After hearing that story on Mother’s Day, I have been thinking about how blessed I am to have a healthy, good-natured child. We have plenty of friends who are having trouble getting pregnant. We are also very blessed to live in a time where major epidemics are not the norm. Thank you God for giving such amazing abilities to the people creating these vaccinations. Thank You also for creating mothers (and fathers too, but this is a Mother’s Day post!) willing to nurture their children’s creativity and for supporting their educational aspirations.

I hope that I am able to be the kind of mother my daughter deserves... I pray that I have the strength to do the things that need to be done and the knowledge to know when to "hold 'em" (hugs and kisses) and when to "fold 'em" (letting go - giving independence). Alas, this concludes my first Mother's Day post, such that it is.

I love it!

This is a picture of the nursery. I finished painting it 10 minutes ago and I abolutely LOVE it! I still need to paint some flowers above and do some touch-ups, but I am so excited!

This is why I do it

This morning the Hubby got up with the baby and took her downstairs while I tended to my new obsession (blogging). When I came into the room, Button dropped her toys, held her arms out to me and smiled. When I picked her up, she was so excited that she started flailing her arms and legs (think breaststroke without water ). This is my bonus, my pay raise, my good performance review and I wouldn't change it for the world.

Here fishy, fishy, fishy

Have you ever seen those little silver fish that you put on the back of your car? You know, the ones that signify that you are in fact a Christian and are willing to broadcast that fact to everyone that you meet? I think they are so cute - especially when you have the two big fish and the two little fish (or a fish for each child that you have - however many that may be). Unfortunately, I could never put those on my car. Not because I am not a Christian, because I am. No, I could never put those on my car because it would advertise the fact that I am a hypocrite. Here are some examples of why I will never be able to have fish on the back of my car:

Exhibit A: I am driving along a 4 lane highway, which eventually turns into 2 lanes. I get into the proper lane about a mile ahead of time and am patiently waiting for the traffic ahead of me to go, because as I said, everyone knows that the right lane ends, and since I am from the conservative midwest, everyone gets into the lane way in advance except for that one car... You know the one I am talking about - the one that is going 60 miles an hour in the right lane, passing everyone, talking on the cell phone and smoking. That person will swerve into your lane (without using a blinker) seconds before their lane ends. To avoid this, I tailgate the person in front of me and am bound and determined that I am NOT going to let this person in. They should have to wait in line just like the rest of us. Inevitably, I end up slowing down and letting them in, but not without my share of 4 letter words and bird flying.

Exhibit B: I am driving along a 4 lane highway, which eventually turns into 2 lanes. I am hurrying along in the right lane talking on my cell phone and I forget that the lane ends. I signal to be let in, and NO ONE will let me in. Seriously people… So I finally signal and cut someone off, in the mean time, waving and saying thank you at the person behind me who is flying the bird at me.

Ah yes, can you see the duplicity that is Kari? This is something that I am working on. I definitely do not want my daughter to see her mother flying the bird and saying four letter words. Maybe I should get some of those fish on the back of my car as a reminder to provide a good example for my daughter. If that is the case, then I am going to need to buy in bulk because I need lots of reminders.

Deep? Thoughts

Hubby told me today that he likes to read my blog because he gets a chance to see what I am thinking about on any particular day, which begs the question – What do I think about each day? Well, it goes something like this (In chronological order):
1) God, is it really 6:00 already?
2) Maybe if I just hit the snooze once, zzzzzzzzz
3) ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz…
4) (Bang, BANG, Bang) HUH? (Me now sitting straight up in bed.) Oh, it’s just Hubby getting ready for work. Could he BE any louder? He’s going to wake the baby. (followed by some words that we probably don’t need to see here.)
5) God, I am tired.
6) Hmmm, Do I really need to go to Jazzercise today?
7) (after stepping on scale) – YES
8) I wonder when the Button is going to wake up.
9) Do I have time to eat breakfast before she wakes up?
10) Oh crap – she is awake and I am only half dressed without eating breakfast. Oh well…
11) (At Jazzercise – after probably swearing at many cars on the drive, which I probably shouldn’t write about) Pant, Pant, Pant… when is this going to be over…Think swimsuit…Pant, Pant, Pant.
12) I wonder if the Button is going to take her nap today.
13) I hope so – I would really like to drink some coffee in peace.
14) (Button falls asleep on the drive home from Jazzercise) - - hear that – it is complete silence. What should I do? Should I finish cleaning the kitchen? Do some laundry? Drink my coffee? Read a book?
15) Reading sounds good…
16) (Five minutes later – after just sitting down with a book and my coffee) Oh crap – is the Button awake already? – maybe she will go back to sleep if I ignore her for a minute….
17) Nope – that is her “getting worked up cry” – Crap – I had better go see if she will go back to sleep.
18) Nope, maybe she wants to play in her walker.
19) Nope, maybe she wants to sit on the floor.
20) Nope, maybe she is hungry.
21) Nope, maybe she wants to watch Max (our dog).
22) Nope, maybe she just wants me to hold her so that she can finish her nap.
23) Nope, maybe she wants me to stand on my head and dance a jig for entertainment, Oh yes, she is laugh- Oh,
24) Nope, God, how long til Hubby gets home from work?
25) 8 Hours? Crap!
26) Is today Wednesday? (Because on Wednesday my mother in law comes and watches Button while I run errands or whatever).
27) Nope.
28) (Sound of guzzling coffee).

And that concludes my morning thoughts (with only slight variations).

Day of Firsts

Today was a very exciting day for us! The Button went to the zoo for the first time and also went to her first minor league baseball game! (It was also the first time she got to eat cereal in the back of our SUV and promptly smear it all over the carpet. And her first time smearing poop all over everything - But we are focusing on the positive today.)

Anyway, as we were sitting at the game today, I realized that I hadn't even thought of the fact that a foul ball could fly back and hit Button in the head. I voice my concerns to the hubster, who tells me that I am over reacting - after all, we are on the first base line, and we are pretty far back and all that. Well, what do you think happens? Yep - a foul ball is hit about 3 or 4 seats over from us. Picture both of us cowering with our hands, arms, bodies and water bottles (for batting the ball away, of course!), trying to protect Button's head. Nothing happened, and the ball ended up right under our seat - so we have a souvineer of the Button's first ball game (see picture above). I would rather have bought a dang ball and not had to have a mini freak-out session (and subsequent discussion about investing in Charmin stock so that I can wrap up the Button at all times to prevent injuries (hers) and heart attacks (mine)). Would we look like over-protective parents if we made the Button wear a bike helmut to baseball games?

Then, the mascot came over to us and tried to get me to give him a bite of my ice cream. Did you get that? He TRIED TO TAKE A BITE OF MY ICE CREAM!!!

What?

No - I don't think that it is irrational to yell at a thing with a head three times it's body size (and made of cloth and plastic) for trying to take my ice cream - I thought about bringing out my water bottle again, but this time to beat the mascot off my cone - I thought that might be a little traumatic for the other children at the game, so I held off.

People irl know that you don't mess with me and my ice cream. The hubby has come near to losing a finger for trying to take my ice cream.

Whine, Whine, Whine

We survived graduation. Barely. It was excruciating. There were about 18 senior graduates and about 18 8th grade graduates. The ceremony lasted over 2 hours. First came the slide show with a baby picture, about 3 elementary/junior high pictures, and then the senior picture of each graduate. Then the extra-curricular activities with pictures of the seniors in each activity... Geez... After the slide show, processional, benediction (there was a special vote by the seniors to be able to do the benediction during the ceremonyy), senior song (imagine crappy cheesy song about how sad it is to be leaving high school), saludatory address, something else boring, then the validictory address, then... dun, dun, dun... the class history. This is what kills me... they go through each year from kindergarten to senior and say the names of the people in the class, the teacher and some "funny" antecdote from the year. I have no idea why they do this. I do have the right to complain because I had the exact ceremony when I graduated from high school and I didn't understand why we said the class history back then. Anyway, my 8th grade brother did get his "diploma" and then we got to eat cake, so the day wasn't a complete loss.

God, this post sounds whiney. Can you tell the baby didn't sleep at all last night? Yes, with all the festivities at my parent's house, she fell asleep at 9, got woken up at 9:30. Went to sleep at again at around 9:45 and got woken up at around 10. Went to bed at 11:30 again and woke up 3 more times before 1:30. Not that people were at the house at 1:30, but apparently she doesn't like sleeping in strange places. She finally slept from 1:30 to 5:30 after we put her in her carseat. The super frustrating part is that she had been sleeping for 11 hours a couple of weeks ago, but has apparently decided that she likes seeing Mommy in the middle of the night again.

Whatever, I am done with what I will dub the Whiney Post. I promise to be more positive tomorrow. I am going to have another glass of whine (oops, I mean wine).

Our Weekend

So this weekend, we are going to my brother's 8th grade graduation. Yes, we still have them in my small (400 people) hometown. And yes, I do have a brother in 8th grade. I am 29 years old, and I have 3 brothers, 28, 15, and 14. Did you notice the 13 year gap? Something else interesting about me - my brother (I call him my big, little brother) and I are the same age for 11 days! Anyway, moving on...

I am also trying to finish the nursery here at home - yes, I realize that my daughter is 6 months old, but I am a procrastinator... Even worse, I am a procrastinator who doesn't really like to make decisions. So, I have finally (Yes, finally!) picked out my paint colors. I am going to have a purple chair rail* horizontally around the room and then purple, pink, green, blue and yellow stripes vertically below the rail. Above the rail, I am going to paint a few big flowers randomly throughout the room. All of this will coordinate with the quilt that I made my daughter while pregnant. YEAH!!! I hope to get the painting done this weekend and will try to post some pictures of the finished project.


* I use the term chair rail loosly as it is just a painted stripe around the room - this because I absolutely KNOW that I would not get an actual chair rail up in the next 3 years. That and the cost - paint is definitely cheaper!

Pictures

Here is a picture of the Button. I am trying to add one to my profile, so we will see what happens...

First Post - Transition to Stay at home Mom

Gaa, Gaa. Goo, Goo. Ma Ma? Ma Ma?

Oh wait! And people wonder why I think I need to have contact with the outside world. Anyway, I am a brand spankin’ new blogger. Why did I decide to blog? Well, I am not exactly sure, but it might have something to do with the first line above. Maybe I am seeking validation for some of the decisions I have made in my life. Maybe I just need a (captive?) audience to listen to my rants and questions. Maybe I am just bored. I don’t know…

My name is Kari and I am a wife and stay at home mom. (Hey – Is there a 12 step program for this?) Anyway, I am married and have a 6 month old daughter, I am calling her Button in this blog. We live in a moderate sized city smack dab in the middle of America. I have been staying home since January 27, 2006 and am trying to improve the experience for myself. It has been difficult for me because in my former life, I was a professional working between 40 and 60 hours a week (depending on the season). I loved the adrenaline rush of working fast and furious to meet a deadline and having something to show for your effort at the end of the day. Needless to say, I am struggling with the transition. And before anyone asks, it was my decision to stay home – my hubby had input, of course, but he kept telling me that I was the one that had to make the final decision.

Things I struggle with:
1) I do not need to provide constant mental stimulation for the baby 100% of the time when she is not sleeping – babies need down time, too.
2) Staying at home does not mean you are on vacation.
3) Keeping the house moderately clean.
4) Cleaning and then cleaning again and again and again are part of the job.
5) Nobody will notice said cleaning until the house looks bad, then will comment on lack of cleaning.
6) The number of things you have to get done in a day are inversely proportional to the hours that baby will nap.
7) To schedule baby or not to schedule baby, that is the question… (probably too late now, but still…)

Until next time….